“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.” - Les Brown
Hey everyone! Today we have the privilege to hear from Neha Sonney, Connection and Relationship Coach and Podcaster out of Hong Kong, who we recently interviewed to learn what it is that makes her tick, and what best advice she can give on life, love, relationships, and the power of belief.
Neha and I connected thanks to our recent interviews by Kai.ai, via their AI coaching interview series, and I just wanted to thank Neha again for reaching out to create this new connection.
What I love about Neha is her willingness to go deep and be real in who she is, and where she comes from.
In her story, we see an authentic soul finding a calling and purpose. One that helps others discover, or rediscover their own self-belief and love in themselves.
Neha understands that sometimes our own fears and doubts, some real, some imagined, might be holding us back from finding the success, love, and happiness that we search for.
Neha has also done us the honour of publishing this interview in audio format on her new Podcast, The Relationship Academy, which I hope you have a listen to as well!
And just a reminder, for a complete list of our inspired interviews on The-Inspired.com you can visit our Interview Series Category Page!
And now, without further delay, let's jump right into the interview with Neha.
Interview with Neha Sonney, Relationship Coach: Love Yourself First & Great Things Will Follow
1. Neha Sonney - What is your Story?
My story is about escaping hell, fighting for my freedom, waking up to myself, and finding true love.
My unconscious decision of reluctantly saying Yes to an arranged marriage led me to Hong Kong. I didn't know better. I only wanted to escape the hell I had been living in - my narcissistic mom.
They say choose who you want to marry wisely. Obviously that was not the case with me.
But as I was far away from my tormentor mom, I started to kind of begin the process of reconciliations, healing and closures etc.
To be honest. I didn't even know what "narcissistic person" meant. I just never understood why she won't show love to me.
And then, 3 years into my marriage I realized I didn't even love the man I was married to. That was the beginning of my 9 year long journey of trying to get out of it "as peacefully as possible". There was no peace. It was a whole family affair, getting in-laws and extended families involved in what they have nothing to do with - MY LIFE. My happiness. All of them against me.
I tried to talk things out. Didn't work, because my in-laws would put the responsibility of the problem on me, and ask me to speak to my parents who they thought would talk sense into me to stay in the marriage.
In the middle of all this pressure and confusion, I got pregnant.
I was bitter, angry, frustrated. I cried myself to sleep, hoping to never wake up.
I tried to escape with my son, only to be back in HK.
I tried to leave the relationship when we were travelling (to KL) so that I could avoid the drama of having to deal with listening to and talking to everyone when all I wanted was to leave and be left alone. I was back in HK yet again.
I wanted to end the marriage desperately.
My anger and frustrations got the better of me, and my son was bearing the brunt of it!
I knew I wanted to be a very different mother. I had promised that to myself at age 11. And my son actually woke me up to that promise. I started to learn more about myself. As I learned to not be angry especially with and around my son.
That began my journey of personal development - getting to know myself. At that time, the only person I thought I did it for was my son, because at that time I only wanted to be a better mother.
I developed an identity of my own, which was a first ever.
Gradually, as my son grew older, I started to inch back into the workforce.
When my son was 7, I finally found a full-time job, I rented a place and moved out to start my life from scratch. I was happy to finally be out of the marriage.
The past 7 years have been all about finding myself, my purpose, exploring my passions, strengths, boundaries, healing and mostly learning to love myself. I travelled, explored dancing, dated, got certified in coaching.
2. What are the biggest benefits or best reasons people should give connection and relationship coaching a try?
Coaching is not limited to sports. Real life is a game of strategy. Successful players put their time into the right things. Later in the game money comes into play, but your top priority should always be mastering where your time and energy go.
- They save precious time, tears and heartbreak.
- They find better matches.
- They'll find clarity and peace of mind.
- End frustration and make dating and relationships fun.
- They will get tried and tested strategies as well as ways that will help them get results faster than they can get themselves. The internet is full of information. It doesn't mean it's leading you like a coach would. - Saving them so much time.)
- The only tears they'll cry would be the happy ones because they finally found the one they had been searching for!
A word of caution: There's many relationship coaches who are not in relationships. They have to know what they're buying into.
3. In the last 5 years, what new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life?
Understanding storytelling has had a profound impact in my life. I enjoy speaking. Toastmasters has been a great platform to learn public speaking, but things were much at the surface level.
If you want to be a great at public speaking practice knowing and speaking your truth. When your tongue is able to deliver the message of your heart, you are a good public speaker.
The ability to communicate WHAT I want and knowing HOW to do that has helped me find better connections.
4. When it comes to relationships, what's the biggest mistake to avoid, or most obvious one most couples miss?
The biggest mistake to avoid is to invite another person in your life as a partner before you have taken the time to get to know and love yourself.
5. What books, authors, speakers or others have changed your life? Or helped you see life in an altogether different way?
Paulo Coelho, Deepak Chopra, Osho : The books by these authors evoked in me belief in myself when I had none. They spoke compassion, greatness, care, beauty, love and divinity. Without that belief in myself, I wouldn't have had the courage to find the love I was looking for.
Prof. Jordan Peterson ignites the genius fire in me. He is a man of great wisdom and we are truly blessed to have him as the professor that he is. We need more such educators who will open people's eyes to the truth about themselves. I have so much to learn from him.
Every great speaker has inspired leadership in me. I see myself in them. I see myself as that leader who will wake people up to the truth about relationships.
Bonus: What advice would you give to someone in dealing with failure, or apparent failure, or a lost dream?
I feel their pain. I understand it. I have known loss.
Failure is a part of the journey. Failure shouldn't be taken personally. Failure means you have tried. Most people don't even try. It's okay to fall. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, keep moving. Don't give up.
Dreams are stories - Show them, don't tell them! Put a date on your dream, and make it a goal. Reach for the stars.
Speaking of a lost dream, here's a quote by Les Brown - “The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”
Think about the things you don't want to regret in your deathbed. What is important to you? + How can readers connect with you? website, podcast, email etc. My website is www.nehasonney.com. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Instagram: @theselflovexpert Facebook: Coach Neha Facebook Group: Manifest Your Soulmate Podcast - The Relationship Academy: Anchor , Spotify
Neha, thanks again for sharing your story with our readers! And thank you for your courageous journey, incredible insights, for never giving up, and for shining a light on the power and importance of self-belief.
Once again, for a complete list of our inspired interviews you can visit our Interview Series Category Page!
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Until next time...stay inspired.
Why do we get Married? A while back a took some time to dig deep into the ideas behind marriage. Where did it come from? Why did marriage exist? How far back do recorded marriages go? And what has changed in why we marry today? In this historical look back, we have some laughs and learn that marriage more than meets the eye:
Part 2 is here as well! More historical research, laughs, better advice, and mind cake for the soul.