What builds your self confidence?
What is the best advice you've ever received from your mom? What's the one thing she did or told you that changed your life? Good or bad we've all learned many valuable lessons from our parents and in this article I'll share one very important THING my mother did each day that helped make me who I am today.
This is a valuable lesson for parents out there today. And for anyone in a relationship. How you treat the people around you has a massive impact on what they think of themselves. Especially over time.
Just like the old saying that we are what we EAT. We are also what we HEAR.
What's the best advice I’ve ever received from my mom?
Well, it’s something my mom DID every day that took me years to realize later.
It was something that changed my life. Allowing me to reach a level of success I never thought was possible.
Here’s what I’ve learned…
I've never been the smartest kid on the block, but I have learned one thing over the years, and it's that self-doubt is by far the greatest thief in reaching your true potential.
I've seen it over and over again, people who put self-doubt in their heads, in subtle or very blatant ways.
They hold themselves back, because, well maybe someone held them back as they were growing up. Like the employee I met at The Gap not long ago saying to me "I'm sorry, I'm just a cleaner" when I asked her where I could find some t-shirts in the Gap store.
I mean, you probably knew where the t-shirts were. And you are definitely much MORE than a cleaner. Why not take your best guess, instead of putting yourself down in the process?
See what I just did there? At the top of the last paragraph? I included my own negative thought into the opening about self-doubt. That I'm not the "smartest kid on the block." Why write that in? It's really just an example of what happens all the time in our brains, these little Dr Evils saying mean things to us that start adding up after time.
The point here is we won't always be able to stop those negative Dr Evil ideas from entering our brains, but we do have the ability to catch them and throw them back; Tell them they are idiots and move on forward. That is one form of defence. But there is one that is even better. Which brings us to our tip for this article…
The Inspired TIP: Parents, tell your kids how amazing they are every single day! EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Married people, or if you are dating, do the same - tell the person you love that they are amazing - EVERY DAY
Unless you just started dating, and you just met the person. Give it time people, YOU can’t call the person amazing every day. Not Yet. You’re still getting to know them. Disagree with me? Ok but I’m telling you they’d think you’re pretty weird. And nobody likes a weirdo.
Whoa, where did we just go…ok back to our story...
Please review this picture in detail. It’s me. At a very young age.
What’s the significance of this picture?
Well, this photo pretty much sums up my childhood: A collection of embarrassing moments caught on film by my parents. Yes thats me. in the photo, above. And yes that's a donkey. More on the donkey later.
And yes I'm wearing overalls hiding an Amazing Spiderman shirt (still a fan!) with what what you can’t fully see if my bell-bottom jeans AND my socks and sandals.
Don’t believe me? Ok. Here is proof.
Socks with sandals people! The truth will set you free!
Back to the previous picture. Lets review my hair cut? Who cut my hair? Glad you asked. Apparently this was my first attempt at cutting my own hair. As a self proclaimed artist, I must admit, this was NOT my best work.
But despite it all, one thing was for certain - it was a good childhood.
I had a sister (and still do) that was nine years my senior, and I had parents that were immigrants from what was then Yugoslavia and is now Croatia. They were (and still are!) hard working, and never allowed themselves or their kids to indulge in anything too much.
My parents loved me A LOT.
I was the son they were not sure would ever be born. You see, during the 70's my dad liked to wear tight jeans and well, for many years after my sister's birth, they just couldn't have another child.
But then one day, KABOOM! a little miracle happened. I was born. Now thats not to say I'm really a miracle. I think in reality my dad had simply switched from wearing SUPER TIGHT jeans to more relaxed jogging pants in the late 70's. His boys finally had room to breath and work properly.
NOTE: I’m not a doctor or scientist but tight jeans CAN’T be GOOD news for SPERM! Yes I just wrote sperm in this article.
Back to the good childhood part and really the point of this story about GREAT ADVICE from mom…
WELL…it wasn’t exactly ADVICE…IT was something MUCH STRONGER:
I can say now, without a shadow of a doubt, that the love my parents gave me, especially mom (hi mom!), was THE BIGGEST REASON I am who I am today - someone overflowing with confidence, someone with a big heart, and someone who gets no bigger pleasure in life, than inspiring others to reach their true potential.
For me it all started with a simple phrase I heard my mom tell me 10 million times over:
"Goran I'm so proud of you! You can accomplish anything in this world if you just put your mind to it! You are amazing!"
Mom would tell me this almost every single day.
What a beautiful thing to hear.
Imagine hearing that constantly if it’s not something you received as a child.
YOU ARE AMAZING!
But it wasn't something I really appreciated until much later in my life. When I saw people who were so incredibly talented but just didn't know it. These people I’d meet were beautiful in so many ways - but just didn't know it.
They missed that simple joy of being told they were amazing. And then over time, something happened, they started to believe that they were NOT amazing. That perhaps they’re opinions DID NOT matter. That perhaps they should stop trying so hard because they’ll never amount to much.
It’s an unfortunate and horrible truth. Some people, really feel this way about themselves.
I didn't realize it at the time, but what my mom gave me was one of the greatest gifts a human being can give to another - that of self belief.
Yes that’s my mom, in Croatia with the WORLDs (not actually) biggest pizza. Seriously though, who makes pizza’s that big? I’ll tell you who - CROATIAs!
In telling someone that you believe in them, in their potential, in their abilities, you help plant a seed and create one of the most powerful and empowering tools in this world.
So, the next time you see your kids, or the person you love most, remind them how much you love them and how amazing they are.
What you'll create in them will pave the way to inspired success as they grow and learn about themselves and the world around them.
There will be ups and there will be downs, but that self belief will give them the confidence to THINK BIG, to believe in themselves, and to enter into this world with a power that grows from within.
Even if they are wearing socks and sandals, bellbottom overalls, have a really bad haircut, and are holding on to a donkey for a photo that your future self decides to share with the world decades later.
THIS is the reason why I decided to create The-Inspired.com
In just under one year, we now have readers from over 80 countries around the world and that for me feels amazing. If you haven’t checked us out yet, what are you waiting for?
But to be honest, I created The-Inspired.com because I love to write and I love the idea of how immediate an impact these positive, inspiring and uplifting stories might have on someone reading this story.
This is why I’ve decided to share my story and found the website.
From humble beginnings to where I am now. And it’s all thanks to my mom and that most incredible bit of help she gave me.
I’m also a firm believer that once you have a few things figured out in your own life, it’s all about paying it forward to help others.
There’s no better feeling than doing what you love AND helping someone else work towards THEIR OWN GOALS. Whatever they might be.
And that, in the end, is what it’s all about.
For the full story about me, the donkey, doctor evil, my mom and much more hilarious and helpful stuff, checkout the full article here:
Thanks and I hope this helped someone out there.
But please whatever you do, avoid the socks in the sandals. Well, unless you’re at a donkey petting zoo of course!