A good friend recently said something that totally surprised me. It’s something I realized, instantaneously at that moment, that I took for granted. In fact, it’s something that helps all of us get through bad moments.
It gets all of us through moments of self doubt.
It’s something everyone should spend time on.
It’s something that will put you in control of your decisions.
It’s something that will help you see the world in a more positive light.
If you do it right, it will also free up so much negative mental space that could be used for, well, just about any goal or dream you’ve been thinking about, but just haven’t taken the time to action.
So what did my friend say to me recently? …That I want everyone reading this to understand an embrace?
My friend said this…
“I bet you have a really healthy internal dialogue.”
When my friend said this I was shocked.
It’s not something I thought about.
But it was true.
I DO have a very strong, healthy internal dialogue.
It’s something that pulls me out of negative self doubt and much more.
We were sitting at the bar in my house when my friend said the above to me. I wasn’t expected it. And what surprised me at that moment was not just that I took my healthy internal dialogue for granted, what surprised me was:
This great friend of mine, a person who is incredibly talented, intelligent, and a natural leader, was revealing that even with all his many talents, he DID NOT have a healthy internal dialogue.
I was shocked.
It got me thinking:
Why is MY internal dialogue so strong?
Why is it so positive?
And why is my talented, intelligent, and incredibly gifted friends internal dialogue not?
Well, I can only answer the first part of the question. I can’t speak on behalf of my friend and his life, or his experiences. In life we all travel our own journey.
But what I can say is this…
I’m not perfect. In fact I’m far from it. I have many faults, many things I wish I could improve about myself, as I sure you do to. But through them all, I still love myself. As you should to, if you don’t.
How do I do it?
When I’m having a conversation with myself:
I don’t focus on what I can’t do.
I focus on what I’m GREAT at.
I look for opportunities to showcase my abilities.
And then I execute when the moment is right.
I focus on all the things that make me amazing in my own way.
I focus on the things I do well each day.
I focus on my accomplishments, big and small.
I focus on what I’m working on today that makes me smile and feel great to be alive.
I make sure I take TIME to do the things I love, even if its only for 1 hour per day.
Taking time to do what you love will make you feel fantastic after you’ve finished for the day.
Not sure what you love?
Start with this, what do you NOT love?
Try this simple strategy.
The next time you are doing a task you don’t like, or even watching TV to kill time, after you’ve finished watching, or doing whatever it was, ask yourself this question:
DO I FEEL SATISFIED? DO I FEEL GREAT NOW?
If the answer is NO, then ask yourself this:
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING YOU LOVED?
Once you’ve figured out what it was, make it a priority to do that thing again soon. And once you’re done go through this exercise again.
You’ll discover something really interesting. You’ll discover not just what you LOVE, you’ll also see how you can start prioritizing your day around things you LOVE from HIGH to LOW.
Making time to do what you love each day will help you increase your self love, which will then improve your internal dialogue, which in turn will help you feel more positive about life, about you, and about the world around you.
It’s the ultimate mental life hack.
I realize as well, not to take it all so seriously. Life, that is. We adults sure can be hard on ourselves, and those around us. But the reality is, life was meant to be enjoyed through experiences.
Life was intended to be enjoyed. It's about the little things in life. Like drinks and amazing conversations with a great friend at a bar.
So the next time negative thoughts enter your mind, try the steps above and tell yourself,
"...NO, I’m actually pretty amazing."
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